Season’s blessings, peace and good will to all!
To make Christmas even brighter, hop over to Nathan Bransford’s blog where he is giving $1.00 per comment to Heifer International, a truly worthy organization. (They give people sheep, too) So I will also give a dollar to HI.org for every new comment here between now and midnight CST Christmas night. Up to $100, because he has generously offered to match participating blogger comments. That way HI gets a twofer.
Posted in Life | Tagged christmas card, Isaiah, lamb, Linda Godfrey, peace, wolf | 24 Comments »
We are not Mennonites and we do not raise beets. And yet, everyone tells me I have raised a doppelganger of Dwight Schrute, favorite nerd of NBC’s The Office.
I forced said son, Nate, to do a 7-second impression of Dieter Schrute, Dwight’s UNreabsorbed twin brother. http://bit.ly/844J7K
Dwight, you cannot outrun your past! Muwahahahahahahahaha
Take my poll: How much does Dieter resemble Dwight?
Posted in celebrities, crazy video, TV, Uncategorized | Tagged Dieter Schrute, Dwight Schrute, Rainn Wilson, Schrute, The Office | 1 Comment »
As an artist and recovering overachiever, I always try to offer something original in the Christmas cards I send every year. And since becoming embroiled in the mystery of unknown animal sightings — especially the canine and lupine variety — cryptid forms often sneak into my yearly greetings. I am still working on this year’s, but here are a few ghost cards of Christmases past:
My fave so far; sort of a Native American influence wedded to the Noel carol:
Then there is the photographic approach, requiring cooperative family. This was taken about three years ago and my hair is weirder than the beast…
And finally, crossing the species divide, I had to use a drawing to depict this guy as he will NOT stand still for a photo
Posted in strange creatures, Uncategorized, writing | Tagged bigfoot, card, christmas, cryptid, noel | 1 Comment »
If your gift is crochet, better to make a great doily than a lousy parachute.
You know you are obsessed with the craft of writing when random quotes all seem to apply to your work-in-progress. Here’s a baker’s dozen from one crazed, revelatory evening with my thesaurus of quotations:
1. “By labor fire is got out of a stone” – Dutch proverb: Exactly describes the process of my novel revision.
2. “To really know someone is to have loved and hated him in turn” – Marcel Jouhandeau: = recipe for a believable character?
3. “The mind of man is more intuitive than logical, and comprehends more than it can coordinate.” – Vauvenargues: So THAT’S why my plot structure sucks!
4. “Pour not water on a drowning mouse.” – T. Fuller: Dear agent, I know you meant well with that query rejection, but…
5. “Little by little does the trick.” Aesop: 500 words/day WILL a novel make, given enough days.
6. “Alternatives, & particularly desirable alternatives, grow only on imaginary trees.” – S. Bellow: And thus, I write fantasy.
7. “It’s absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.” O. Wilde: Substitute “books” for “people.”
8. “Men perish because they cannot join the beginning with the end.” – Alcmaeon: Substitute “books” for “men.”
9. “The man who suspects his own tediousness is yet to be born.” – T.B.Aldrich: I definitely need more beta readers.
10. “By the husk you may guess at the nut.” T. Fuller: Truly, let the pros do your cover.
11. “He that is everywhere is nowhere.” T. Fuller: FOCUS!
12. “Our nature consists in motion; complete rest is death.” – Pascal: Let the protagonist lounge, and the Story Mortician will come a-knocking.
13. “Never fall out with your bread and butter.” – English Proverb: This either means don’t eat toast over your laptop, or take care switching genres. Equally useful!
Posted in Life, Uncategorized, writing |
-The creatures I call Manwolves have no physically human aspect, other than bipedal stance and some behavioral traits, so while they may be good-looking for canines, they aren’t really movie star handsome unless you’re casting for Rin Tin Tin.
-Many who have encountered a Manwolf at close range have reported a horrible smell of wet dog and urine. I bet even love-struck Bella would not be enticed by that.
-Manwolves are snarly, aggressive and anti-social; less than optimal boyfriend material. They eat roadkill, deer and cats so you wouldn’t want one to take you to dinner.
-And worst of all, unknown bipedal canines leave the scene at the first opportunity. That smacks of major future commitment problems.
Second, I would just like to mention that the hunky werewolf lover has a long tradition in literature, despite the inherent problems. One is the story of Bisclaveret, which is Breton for werewolf. Like New Moon, it was penned by a popular female writer, in this case Marie de France, but it predates Stephenie Meyer by about 1800 years (the 1100s).
His wife decided she would prefer a former, entirely human lover who then stole Bisclaveret’s clothing and partied on the werewolf’s wealth with the lady for years. Eventually Bisclaveret was able to kill the knave — and his unfaithful wife — and get his clothing and estates back.
Werewolves are fun to put in fiction, I have done it myself. The possibilities are endless. But whatever it is that people are really seeing in the American woods and fields is something entirely different. And the real creatures, whatever they are, don’t appear ready for their close-up just yet.
Posted in celebrities, Life, strange creatures | Tagged beast of bray road, Bisclaveret, Stephenie Meyer | 1 Comment »
Me as "Evening Adventuress"
Steampunk costumes are glorious things. My own effort was not contest-worthy (though I still had fun wearing it), but I was blown-like-a-zeppelin-in-a-hurricane away by the grand prize winners; a wheelchair tricked out with everything from a dangling faux gaslight to a metal-tubing cupholder, and a man with a wooden cabinet backpack that had moving gears, Tesla lights, and an array of other steamish objects too vast to describe here.
My quick take-aways from the weekend:
Most SF/F fans believe Bigfoot is also SF/F, judging by the Mystery Animal Panel.
Autographing tables really should be located someplace near the attendees.
Girl Genius is a funny and top class comic.
Panelists in the know mentioned Tobias Buckell and Paolo Bacigalupi and Catherynne M. Valente as some of their fave, upcoming novelists. My Amazon wishlist runneth over.
Concensus from the 2012 Apocalypse panel I sat on was that the big change will be a spiritual transformation rather than an all out Armageddon as in the movie. Whew! I can drive again without checking for yawning sinkholes to Hell every two minutes. And does this mean anyone can be Pope in 2012?
It is possible to go an entire weekend eating nothing but Con Suite and Green Room food. And those who do, really appreciate it.
With the exception of one argumentative dealer, SF/F people are the nicest and most mannerly of crowds. Maybe it’s because we have so much practice at keeping our monsters in our heads where they belong.
WindyCon36 attendees
Posted in Life, travel, writing | Tagged 2012, bigfoot, Catherynne M Valente, corsets, costumes, steampunk, Tobias Buckell, wheelchair, windycon, writers | 2 Comments »
My Necravenomicon Wings
I’m not a costume person. I had a bad costume-fail for my second grade class Halloween party and never quite recovered. I have always blamed my mother.
She had this thrifty notion that my costume should also be able to double as pajamas, so she had my grandma whip up a baggy bodysuit out of tiger-print flannel, complete with an eared cap that tied under my chin. The really egregious part was that she had forgotten to buy a mask or costume makeup, so she drew jagged stripes all over my face with her bright red lipstick. Altogether, I looked like Freddie Krueger had gotten hold of the neighborhood cat.
My classmates were grossed out. Worse yet, my two best friends, Mary and Leslie, were dressed like little dolls as Little Bo Peep and a fairy princess, respectively. My boyfriend of the week, Larry Vorba, said Leslie was pretty but I was not. And the lipstick smelled like my mother’s saliva. I pretty much swore off elaborate costumes forever.
Then came WindyCon’s Steampunk-themed con, happening this Nov. 13-15. I’m on two panels and have a book signing — how could I not wear a costume? Besides, Steampunk is Victorian+fantasy+cool, Neil-Gaimanesque imagery. Irresistible. I decided to forget the tiger suit debacle and bought a hat and corset. I then set about creating a fantasy gadget “jet-pack” and attached it to some post-Halloween sale wings from Walgreen’s. I’m aiming for a gothy Victorian Tinkerbell look.
Here is a shot of the wing ensemble, and I’m also rigging up a big pocketwatch/brooch combination and will be carrying a transformed old book. I also have a very short ruffled skirt and tall black boots. And the only lipstick on my face will be between my nose and chin where it belongs.
Larry Vorba, whereever you are, this one’s for you.
Posted in Life, Uncategorized, writing | Tagged costume, fantasy, jetpack, steampunk, windycon, wings |
I just finished my 11th (to be) published non-fiction book, and the good news is that I didn’t have to make an index for it.
The bad news is that I didn’t have to make an index for it.
My Strange Wisconsin index
My dirty little secret: I like making indexes. The old way. With a pencil and index cards. I know there are software programs for this, but I agree with the Chicago Manual of Style when it states that a computer-made index “cannot in any way substitute for a real index prepared with the aid of human intelligence.” (Thankfully, degrees of human intelligence are evidently not an issue.)
The crux of it is that indexing requires a sifting process to decide exactly what is pertinent to the subject at hand, and that process is at least partly subjective . If a book is about strange creatures, “phantom pigs” is probably a pertinent entry, but its exact location in the obscure Welsh hamlet of Pentrefoelas may not be considered index-worthy. At least I didn’t think so when I prepared the index for Hunting the American Werewolf. A software program set for proper nouns might have beeped to differ.
Besides, I find the process relaxing. You get the galley in the mail and look at how the pages have shaken out and how the designer has arranged things. That’s always enlightening. Then starting at page one, you write the words you choose on the indexcards, alphabetizing each. And don’t forget the page numbers. Several packs of cards will be required for most books targeted above kindergarten level. And that Chicago Manual of Style will be invaluable for the picky parts.
Along the way you pick out any lingering typos that can still be fixed without disrupting design flow. A favorite beverage and snack is mandatory. The only tedious part is the data entry after you reach The End, but you could also enter as you go.
I’ve done this for five books — the others provided professional indexers at their cost — and this last one is part of a series with detailed chapter entries up front. But an index is normally a lovely and necessary thing to any researcher (or purchasing librarian — I’ve been one), and in my opinion no NF book should suffer the indignity of an indexless rear end.
I will add that I would never sign a contract for a book that required ME to pony up for a professional indexer. It would be like paying someone else to pet my dog or do my crossword puzzles. Genre NF advances are meager enough as it is.
And in the end, literally, a non-fiction tome without an index is just, er, book-naked.
Posted in writing | Tagged Hunting the American Werewolf, indexes, indexing, non-fiction, writing |
I must be one, then.
O’Connor does a great job of contrasting SE Wisconsin’s pleasant, woods-and-cornfields landscape with the monsters and strangeness that lurk therein. He writes as fastidiously as he keeps his car — despite the fact that he often has a baby on board, the interior would put any dealer’s detailer to shame. “We never eat in the car,” he told me as I bit into the pita sandwich I had just acquired at the LaGrange General Store. His eyes followed a crumb that had dropped to the pristine passenger seat where I sat. I hastily retrieved it and made sure there were no more. You never want to tick off someone who is going to write a major magazine story about you.
I did thoroughly enjoy the day, especially our side trip to Mystic Drive in Muskego where the Haunchies famously dwell. The tales tell of a forbidden lane at the end of the street that is guarded by a rifle-toting man in a black pickup truck, where you are sure to incur a whopping fine for trespassing. We did encounter a black truck with two men but no visible rifle. But the farm at the end of the street where the lane should have been is now busily subdividing itself like an amoeba, and the Haunchy habitat appears to have been obliterated.
I was amazed then when we discovered a weedy yard on Mystic Drive itself with three small, strange-looking buildings. From the looks of them, no humans of any size ever dwelled here, but I wondered whether their presence was enough to have started the Haunchy legend in the first place? Supposedly the Haunchies were a colony of little people retired from area-based circuses, but I had expected to find nothing at all from this popular urban legend. The tiny buildings were a fun bonus. They can be seen from the road, no need to trespass. Here is a picture of the oddest one:
It is obvious from the state of disrepair that this is no country for old, little men.
The tour was fun, though, and we barely scratched the surface of weirdness in Wisconsin. I hope the Midwest passengers get a charge out of the article and a little crypto-education to boot. Perhaps more than one will be alert enough to glimpse that pterodactyl winging its way past their cabin window….
Posted in Life, strange creatures, travel | Tagged beast of bray road, dinosaur store, haunchies, haunchyville, Lake Geneva, midwest express, Mystic Drive, strange wisconsin, travel, witches of Whitewater | 7 Comments »
I confess that I take way too many pictures of my Lhasa Apso, Grendel. But how many dogs get this close to three sandhill cranes and live for their owners to tell the tale? These were taken on a recent walk around the ‘hood. The comments on each photo are straight from the Grendel-mind, I assure you.
And it is a good thing I had my camera along to capture this scene. I heard the cranes blasting their “Dang the temperature hit 40 last night, let’s blow this place for Florida” call last night so they will not be around much longer.
The horses stay all year, bless their stolid hearts.
This is the mean one that always tries to kick Grendel.
We take this walk every day past very ancient and deep kettles (ancient as the last glacier anyway) and it never gets old.
Posted in Life, Uncategorized | Tagged animal pictures, dogs, grendel, kettle moraine, lhasa apso, puppies, sandhill crane, walk | 1 Comment »
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